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How do you persue women?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by RubenRed, Dec 8, 2017.

?

To women: do you prefer making the first move?

  1. Yes if I can get what I want

    45 vote(s)
    60.8%
  2. No, it's too scary

    29 vote(s)
    39.2%
  1. RubenRed
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    RubenRed Donator

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    Obviously you chase them down and cast your net upon them.
    kidding

    Guys: if you're in a relationship, how did it happen? Mutual friends? Relentless effort? Or did it kind of just happen. A lot of us are young adults and all this technology has affected the way we go about forming meaningful romantic relationships

    If you're not in a relationship, but have been how did you go about. If you never have been in one what would you do if you found the right person?

    Ladies: don't mean to leave you out, but what's it like traditionally getting pursued by men? And do you prefer making the first move?

    Heterosexual relationships seem like they thrive on not really being sure what the other wants. It's weird. -This is a sub topic of a paper I need to write for a class thought it'd be fun to ask royals too!-
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2017
  2. tyshyds
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    tyshyds Well-Known Member

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    Just do your own thing (that’s what I do)We’re human, we cross paths and communicate all the time, something is bound to happen. And if you are looking for a relationship, be honest, not being who you are and changing to fit a relationship role is most likely not going to work, unless you plan on playing that role your whole life.
     
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  3. violaceopes
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    violaceopes Well-Known Member

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    I'm going to talk, instead, about how not to pursue women. Specifically, don't.

    Being pursued by men is frequently uncomfortable. Unwanted conversation, unwanted touch, even physical intimidation. I think the latter is largely unintentional, but it happens nonetheless.

    Put it out there that you're interested, perhaps along with a small gesture, like bringing her coffee. Don't assume that a woman who seems disinterested is playing hard to get. Especially if she outright rejects you. Take her response at face value, and either be available without being intrusive or move on. While it's true that some small minority of women like to play hard to get and be pursued, that's the minority. I've literally never heard a woman complain that a man gave up too easily, but men not knowing when to piss off is absolutely epidemic.

    Please, just let her do her grocery shopping/ride the subway/go to class. Please don't touch her unless she touches you first. Please don't stand blocking her path so that she has to either ask you to move or push past you. Don't make passive aggressive social media posts about being "friendzoned;" you were never a romantic prospect to begin with. Please don't find excuses to be alone with her, stare, and wax poetic about how good she smells or how pretty her hair is.

    Your penis isn't nearly as interesting as you might suppose. There are billions just like it, and if she wants one, she knows how and where to get it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2017
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  4. Dre
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    Dre Well-Known Member

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  5. LonelyCloud
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    >swipe right
    >hey bb wan sum fug
     
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  6. SmokerT69
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    Met my wife on EMS. My IGN was Bögsaku. Literally Gay-saku in Swedish, made it as a joke with one of my Swedish friends but it ended up becoming my main character. My wife saw me in free market and followed me around calling me gay slurs lol. She joined my guild and was a complete troll. Was considering kicking her... we got on skype and started playing left for dead and COD4 as well as other games. Later when BF3 was released we got really active on there. 2000 hours spent gaming together on BF3 in the end. She flew to my country for vacation and we met up. Went back and forth between countries, 2 months here, 3 months there, etc. Got tired of all the flying and the expenses of it. So we got married so she could live in my country after 3 years of dating back and forth. Been married for 2 years now and have a 8 month old baby. gg
     
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  7. Anesthetize
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    Anesthetize Well-Known Member

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    How I get all my women.

    Step 1: be a drug dealer or have lots of drugs on hand.

    Step 2: ask if they wanna smoke n' chill or go out.

    Step 3: Get hella fucked up with each other and have fun

    Step 4: Uber THOT back home
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2017
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  8. Buccaneer
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    Everyone has their own experience with attraction and their love life which shapes the way they see others romantically and, dare I say more importantly, themselves.

    How do you pursue women/men?
    To be honest, I didn't want anything to do with this post simply because it's an odd and very personal topic to talk about. A friend wanted me to share some insight on how I stand in terms of these questions so here are my personal thoughts. Since I'm a guy attracted to women, I'll be mostly speaking in that perspective. Pursuing someone I like is probably one of the most scariest things that I do in my life, except maybe chaosing 30 bil+ items. I remember in a basic psychology class, the professor mentioned that the biggest factor in getting and staying in a relationship is "proximity". Simply put, the closer you are to a person, the more likely a relationship will happen: alikes attract! "Proximity" is not only physical closeness but also all the other aspects, like emotional, sexual, intellectual, and anything else you can think of.

    Knowing that fact, when I am interested in someone (be it a friend or looking for more), connection is key! When I meet new friends, I am ALWAYS looking for topics and ways to connect to that person (say it's a cute girl). Fundamentally, people are people who wants needs and wants met, along with serving other people's needs and wants. When I talk with someone who I may be interested in, I talk about anything and everything that there is to talk about - in hopes that at least some of my interests can spark the same connection as the other person. After gauging what that person likes, I would hone in on certain topics that either of us are in particular more passionate about. One thing to mention is that the setting of meeting this person is also a big factor in this part. If I both start talking in a rock-climbing class, I already have one area of passion that you both can connect with. Funny enough, that is the same thing as Maplestory. This is a strange but also true way of meeting people since I know I can connect with others who love to maple!

    The more time I spend with someone, the more likely I am to be attracted to them (proximity)! Many friendships turn into relationships simply due to time spent with the other person (and many also don't ;-;). If I am particularly interested in someone, I would go out of my way to hang out with this person. Different people think that maybe only guys should pursue the girl and and girls sometimes play hard-to-get, but forget all that bullshit. Guys and girls: if you like someone, put some effort in it. It may be simply texting them more frequently, or flirting and dropping hints of a romantic interest. My thoughts are, if you want it, go get it. It doesn't have to be aggressive, but hints that are a subtle but also not too subtle.

    After and undisclosed amount of time that I talk to to get to know the other person more, it is time for the big ask! Depending on how far the friendship/relationship goes, I may be asking a few different questions for the next major step in the possible romantic relationship. The biggest favor you can do for both yourself and for the person you are interested in is clarity. I think the biggest flop in getting into a relationship is that when someone asks for "something more", it comes out vague and the other person is put in an awkward position to respond to something they aren't sure what the original person wants. In my experience, the best way to the next phase of the relationship is being honest and very clear of what is the next step.
    Testing potential relationship: Hey, we hang out a lot but I'm not sure if I want a relationship between the both of us. Do you want to go on a date with me?
    Boyfriend/Girlfriend: I've noticed we have been hanging out a lot and I like you. Do you want to be my girlfriend?

    From there is just the effects of it. The person may need more time to think about the relationship. You may be going on several dates to see if you want to commit to a more serious relationship. Maybe they don't have the same feelings for you and you are left to die and shrivel back into a corner. Whatever the response is, I am always to honor and be honest with myself and the other person. Feelings are real, however reasonable and unreasonable they seem and while that can be a driving force to how a relationship goes, it should not be THE driving force. If I am successful in getting into a relationship, that is great! There is a lot more in a relationship itself so I hope it goes well!

    If the person rejects me, I always give myself time and space to recover. Both crying and talking to friends, I think, is very helpful in slowly healing the seemingly broken heart. One big reaction I frequently catch myself doing is just tying to escape the bad thoughts and feelings altogether (may it be from just shutting myself out of the world or playing endless maplestory or getting drunk every night to dispel the pain). It doesn't work and won't heal the heart. I would find find close friends to talk or simply journal or blog as very helpful ways to sort out the jumbled brain from the rejection. Depending on the relationship, it may get awkward or I may never talk to the other person. Regardless of what happens, end the relationship on a good note. I would thank them for their time and consideration or something similar. Completely cutting off ties or talking behind their backs is mean to them and in the end, won't help you heal.

    This comes from my heart and I just wanted to put my own input in my attempt to demystify relationships, take everything with a grain of salt and use your own judgments.

    This is from my own personal thoughts and not all relationships have to look like this. Also if you want to bring any other drama about my relationships, PM me about it, don't reply to me from this post.

    Thank you for your time~
     
  9. Dre
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    @Don Your time to shine fam! ~f11
     
  10. Don
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    Don Well-Known Member

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    But I learned from you!
     
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  11. Goku
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    My GF was the one who pursued me on here. To be honest I really wasn't interested initially because I knew she was far away from me and I knew I'd never see her knowing how I've lived all 22 years (at the time) of my life on the east coast of the USA. Why would I ever bother falling in love and being able to actually see her?

    I have no real advice since I've only had one girlfriend and for good reasons IMO. I'am not that experienced with girls and don't pretend to be but here is a lil' story with it being my most helpful contribution possible to this topic.

    I've never made a first move. I was asked out by girls in the past but I've never asked a girl out. I just flow with the wind, usually. There was a couple girls who I really liked but I was too scared to be the man/lost interest so nothing ever happened. Then our Guild Master of the late Wisdom (RIP) introduces me to a newish recruit and the three of us chat. I think it was in "Hidden Street: Marr's Forest" and then after our GM left we moved to the top of Ellinia. It was just me and her and we just talked for a long time. Talked about life and the usual awkward stuff like weather after awhile haha. We did PPQ which really got us together among other stuff but then I started slowly drifting away from her after coming back to reality that I felt I had no future with her. I realized this was just a game and again, I probably would never met this girl who is 3,000ish miles from me, so why bother? All I wanted was to level up my Buccaneer. I was ready to quit the guild with a friend and go back to Oblivion or somewhere. But one day our GM came on and randomly disbanded the guild without saying a word... he was quitting. None of us could believe it. Soon after, Radiance was created by her to get back the family he created and abruptly almost ended. I decided to give it a shot again and apologized for being a dick to her by ignoring her for two weeks and making her really upset. She for some reason forgave me. We just slowly fell in love and eventually met each other twice this year. We video chat daily since I grew the cojones to officially ask her if she wanted to be my GF. So I guess eventually I made a move but if it wasn't for her first move, I wouldn't be typing this.

    Not all guys have to make the first move but if just under the certain circumstances and she has a crush on you, it could be the girl! This sever gave us the opportunity to meet. In a million years I woulda never thought that. Still madly in love with each other I'll say I hope I never have to learn what it is like to have to make the first move...
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2017
  12. SmokerT69
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    Well, my previous post is how I met my wife. If you just want to get laid, be white in the Carribean. The country I'm from is 80% black, I was the only white guy in my entire high school for 2 years, 600 students. I had girls go out with me because quote, "I want my baby to have blue eyes and nice hair". Jamaican girl I dated senor year said she was just trying to lighten up the family. It can get a bit annoying though, I've always kept my hair cut close. Guys and girls would just randomly touch my hair to feel the "spiky-ness". Good times
     
  13. Crowley
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    I just came here to read virgins give advice to each other.
     
  14. LilNoddy
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    LilNoddy Well-Known Member

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    Hey bb I don't mean to brag but I have 100 AP resets
     
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  15. iEatEmoKids
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    I literally opened this thread just to comment: if you're phrasing it as "pursuing women" you're definitely doing this whole thing wrong.

    And this is coming from a dude not interested in women lul
     
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  16. zSmoke
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    Usually I make a move but past couple months I took my foot off the burners coz these hoes and crackheads aren't worth it.

    But a girl from the college that I work at made the first move and I was cool with that we just gotta keep it on the low but dw it's nothing weird we are same age haha I'm just staff and she's student I gotta be careful.

    For me it goes both ways. You look but don't find sometimes. Or you look and you find. Sometimes you do nothing and it comes to you.
     
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  17. Evan
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    Evan Forum Moderator

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  18. RubenRed
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    Not interested In women either but I didn't really see the issue with the title....until now as I'm saying it out loud.
    I wouldn't want to be pursued.

    But what else would you say that isn't demeaning?
     
  19. violaceopes
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    How do you get a girlfriend?* How do you romance a woman? How do you seek out female companionship?

    *Let's be honest, that's the accurate title. ;)
     
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  20. Slurps
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    Uhhhhhhh
     

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